Diplomacy
by handoverthebiscuit
Summary: Politics was a complicated, complicated thing.


_A/N: Okay, we all know I'm supposed to be writing Glass and Bone, but since we've all also watched the diamonddust rebellion, we all know how it's going to end, and writing depressing stuff is getting slightly depressing. So! I...wrote a funny one. Just to get me back in order._

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 **Diplomacy**

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Captain Hitsugaya did not always have errands to run in the Thirteenth Division, but when he did, he almost always dreaded it. Not because Captain Ukitake was unpleasant - no, far from it - but possibly, and quite frankly, exactly the opposite. Captain Ukitake was _too_ nice.

The Thirteenth Division's buildings had a nice outdoor veranda overlooking a peaceful pond that the Tenth did not, and as Hitsugaya strode in what he hoped was a purposeful manner towards Ukitake's office, passing officers would bow and he would nod in acknowledgement, secretly wondering if anyone had ever fallen off the veranda and tumbled into the pond.

He knocked on the door, and when it slid open, he stepped in and politely greeted the senior captain.

'Good evening, Captain Ukitake.'

'Hitsugaya-kun! No need for formalities, we are both fellow captains, are we not?' Ukitake said from where he sat by a low tea table. 'Have a seat,' he waved around at a selection of cushions around the table.

'Er, yes,' he politely agreed and watched uneasily as the older captain insisted on pouring him a cup of tea. Hitsugaya placed a folder of documents on the table. 'I have compiled the reports for the combined mission that was executed last month. If you would like to confirm its contents before-'

He did not get to finish his sentence, because Ukitake was laughing. 'I'm sure it'll be fine. Just put it over there and I'll go over it later.'

'Right,' Hitsugaya said and edged the folder over to Ukitake's side of the table, and when he was done he was bombarded with a series of questions from the too kind, too well-meaning captain.

'So, how are you doing, then? How is work treating you? Are you stressed?' Ukitake asked as he slid a saucer of sweets over to Hitsugaya.

And so it began.

Hitsugaya was not a fan of candy, but whenever he sat down with the Captain of the Thirteenth for tea, he would be offered more and more of the tiny colourful things as time passed, and by the time Ukitake procured a third variety of sweets from the cabinet, the guilt made him feel morally obliged to eat _some_ thing, lest he be seen as an impolite guest.

So there he was, holding conversation with Captain Ukitake, surrounded by about six saucers of all sorts of sugar, and washing down the aftertaste with some strong green tea. He was holding up pretty well, he decided for himself as he gingerly picked a tiny orange monstrosity from one of the dishes.

The conversation eventually wound down, and as Hitsugaya thanked Ukitake for his time and hospitality and was just about to excuse himself from the room, Ukitake sprang into action.

'Hold on a second, I've got something for you!' he said brightly, and pressed a bag of round sweets into Hitsugaya's hands. 'These are from the best shop I know in Seireitei, they melt in your mouth!'

'Um, Thank y-'

'And these are the new flavours for this month from the corner store! I think you would like them.'

'Er-'

'Here, these are an old favourite of mine, aren't the colours vibrant?'

'Well, ye-'

Hitsugaya soon found himself in possession of enough candy to tranquillise a large animal. He thanked Ukitake once again with a smile, and waddled out of the room.

.

.

Hitsugaya did not return to his office straight away. Instead, he took a detour, and knocked on the door of the Eleventh Division on his way back.

Inside the office, the captain was nowhere to be seen, the lieutenant was rolling on the floor, the third seat was draped over a couch, and the fifth seat was updating a blackboard that was pinned to the wall.

The sign that once read " **24** days since the last complaint from the Kuchiki Manor" was now reset back to zero.

Hitsugaya cleared his throat, and from behind the mountain of candy he carried, said, 'Lieutenant Kusajishi.'

The tiny pink-haired girl was up in a flash, and Ikkaku was alert and standing soon after.

'Captain Hitsugaya! Good afternoon, sir.'

'Shorty! You brought more candy!' Yachiru cried.

Hitsugaya dropped his mountain of candy onto Yachiru, who carted it off to a corner to either plot world domination or consume her own weight in food colouring, Hitsugaya couldn't be sure. Ikkaku took Hitsugaya's hand in a vigorous two-handed handshake, and while he pumped their arms up and down, he leaned in to say, 'Captain Hitsugaya, you have no idea how much we appreciate this. It keeps her out of trouble, it keeps the Sixth out of our hair.'

Yumichika joined the huddle, taking Hitsugaya's other hand in another two-handed handshake. 'The Eleventh owes its peace to your generosity, Captain Hitsugaya. What can we do to thank you?'

'Oh, it's nothing,' Hitsugaya said when he finally got his hands back to himself.

The two officers bowed deeply. 'As usual, sir, members of the Tenth Division are always welcome to use our training and recreation facilities.'

Hitsugaya nodded and said, 'Thank you, the gesture is most kind of you.'

'No, thank _you_ , sir.'

.

.

After the very long errand that took him around the eastern side of Seireitei, Hitsugaya was finally back in the comfort of his own office, where his own lieutenant was draped over the couch. Deciding that the day's events warranted some kind of rest, he plopped himself down on the other end of the couch.

'How did it go, Captain?' Matsumoto asked sweetly from under a cushion.

'Same as usual,' he grumbled. 'The Eleventh is letting us use their facilities.'

'Yes!' Matsumoto punched a fist in the air and sat up. 'Anything from the Sixth?'

Hitsugaya sighed and pulled an envelope from his sleeve and handed it to her. 'They heard we've been keeping Lieutenant Kusajishi under control. We've been invited to the Kuchiki Manor's year end banquet.'

Matsumoto squealed. 'I'm going to file another request for a combined exercise with the Thirteenth!'

Hitsugaya tried not to cradle his head. When did Matsumoto start running the politics of the division?

He really, _really_ needed to buy Ukitake something very, _very_ nice.


End file.
